Why Won't My Parents Listen to Me?

You love your parents. You even like your parents. Well, most of the time if you are honest. I’m sure they say the same thing about their adult children! But it can be so very frustrating when we try to “help” them by offering them advice. Sometimes they even ask for it.

Did you know there is a reason why our senior parents don’t listen to their adult children? Read on.

Think about it. To whom do your parents listen? There are four categories of folks from whom your parents will take advice.

• Their doctors

• Their financial advisors

• Their spiritual advisor

• Their friends

Do you see “adult children” anywhere on that list? Nope! I guarantee your senior parents will listen quite carefully, nod in your direction, smile and tell you what a wonderful, caring (adult) child you are when you offer advice. And then they will totally ignore you….for the most part. Why? Because they listen to their friends first and foremost! After all, their friends have been or are going through the same aging issues as your parents. You aren’t. It is that simple and that complicated.

Your senior parents listen to their friends first and foremost.

Let me tell you a short story. My wonderful mother-in-law was living in an Assisted Living community. Reluctantly. She was very hesitant and finally adamant about NOT selling her home. It was sitting there empty, and racking up bills for yard work, utilities, roof repairs, etc. But no, she was not selling. "Of course," she said, “I might go back home one day.” And who was giving her this advice? Her neighbor in the Assisted Living community who had dementia! Yet my mother-in-law chose to listen to her rather than to her family who was helping with the maintenance and upkeep of her home. Sigh!

So, when your folks won’t listen to you about their aging issues, understand where they are coming from…not necessarily the head but most likely, or at least partly, from the heart.

One day we will all have that decision to make. Do you have a plan? Does your family know your wishes? Are you making your home senior friendly so you can stay there longer? Maybe then you can appreciate why your parents nod, smile and don’t listen.

And maybe you might want to consider getting to know the friends of your parents a little bit better? Do they have your contact information? Just saying.